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BARRIERS TO INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS




SETTING STANDARDS
 
It is very clear and understandable and indeed normal to set standards and conditions as to what kind of person you would like to have, but think the other way and ask your conscience what benefit or negative doing it will have to your quest for soul satisfaction. Many of us have done this in many situations, because it may keep you focused and destined to be the kind of person you always want to be. Some of us have found half of what they wanted, others have never come close to their satisfaction while others have found and left the opportunities to slip off their way, but how many have always found exactly what they wanted? Hey, look, here you are thinking of getting a very educated fellow, who is too wealthy, light skinned, tall or short, from your own tribe, or whichever you wish to! Alternatively, looking for a medium height lady with wide hips, light skinned, educated and working and should not be of a different tribe even when you are convinced beyond reasonable doubt that in your tribe most people are dark skinned and rarely do women posses wide hips.  Setting standards for the kind of person you would like to spend the rest of your life which is not a crime not even an offence since everyone is entitled to his /her personal decisions and indeed its decisions that are made solely by individuals that you feel when made can ease your life with that person. If only you could ask yourself whether
these people really do exist or not and if they do can they be found and if they can be found shall you be content with them? It is for that reason that the words single but not searching or single but contented are now more pronounced than ever.
If only we could understand that not at any time shall we find exactly the people with the exact features, we would have gotten what we wanted. The notion of failing to hold certain factors constant shall, leave you maneuvering in the company of loneliness and disgust  painted with uncertain clouds of whether you can land on one or not especially now in  a world where many factors seem to dictate upon the kind of person you are to have by your side. In many situations,  we have found ourselves being delighted by the thought of landing on a working class, or person of your education status or even lower than yours according to your wish and standards, but I would like you to understand that even if having a person who shall share with you financial responsibilities is a good idea, there are many strings attached that many of us have observed and has led to you falling out with the person you so thought loved you among the multiple that you felt like the only well in the desert. I am not against sharing responsibilities, but according to the many people I have interacted with, there is an inner feeling that lies deep in their thought that there is a possibility of such people having extra marital affairs commonly known as the side dish.
Sometimes it beats my understanding as to why many people could really fall prey to such affairs, could it be that it is natural, could it be that you are simply loose or could it be you don’t care about your self esteem and moral integrity or could it be you just don’t care about your public image or could it be that you have made it your hobby that you feel without it your life is made sad or could it be the environment that you live in? Think about it. All this challenges are now consistent with the saying that there is no love. Yes, to some extent, you could be right, but to some extent, you could be wrong because many people today do not know what love is all about. Sometimes you may want a more cashed fellow to be your other half, but remember that if not all among the so-called loaded people, three quarters are cheats. You may be loaded and may be offended by this, but if you know that you are not the kind relax and read on- behold and put it at the back of your mind that money is an associate of immorality  and infidelity except for  the few.
Despite the fact that money may bring that much-needed comfort in life, it can also create that much uncalled for desperation especially in a setting where you live far away from each other. we therefore need to be ourselves and get to understand and always remember that if you really want to have a person for yourself, be realistic enough and get to know that depending or focusing too much on what the other person has worked for shall not only cause you problems but also make you to be perceived as a target worker and an opportunist who is incapable of working for your own even if death never does you part. This believe me, many can even if you strove harder to have him/ her create secondary problems in your love life. Its why many men and women mostly those in their forties are living a single unpredictable life and later on fall in for any nonentity just because they have failed to hold certain aspects constant during their youthful days such as religion, cultural diversities, money bit of it and education and age. This could also be caused by the social kind of life that you have been and are still living. It could be you in the same scenario, sit down think, imagine, meditate, compare, infer and make that much needed and vital decision for yourself because you need to have a person who shall share with you dark moments, light moments, hardships, advice  which is hardly given by many partners. So! Do you wish to have someone of that kind, or not? The decision and the final thought lies deep in your heart, opportunities shall always come to your eyes but shall never flash them. Some times when one tries to advice in many situations, such people and referred to as all knowing and you would not wish to spend with them the rest of your love life because in many situations you feel you cannot influence or play with their psychology. Think, think, and think until you think that you can think no more that you feel you should damage your own ego and you shall never live a misery-filled life.
 Caution is also needed when setting out a search for a person you could be admiring especially now that many people are camouflaging their positions especially some people simply pretend to be poor when in actual sense they are they are somehow fairly cashed all because he/she could have been thought  a lesson by a target shooter, some simply pretend to be morally upright simply because they have been seeing you for a longer period of time and hence would wish to catch up with you to and perhaps eventually have you as their dream partners. Those shall try as much as possible to get close to you with much hidden intentions that you shall only realize when you have fallen prey to the unscrupulous person. So be careful a little and take time but do not be overwhelmed by your past love life, you could multiply the jeopardy in your misery.
Sometimes, some people wouldn’t wish to declare their positions or assets to you at the very first time for it is assumed that you could simply fall in for his/ her assets rather than the person. We need to be slow while handling such areas because speed causes accidents and accidents ruin your life perhaps for the rest of your time on earth.

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