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DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ALWAYS TAKE?


DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ALWAYS TAKE?
Not very many hours ago, I attended a friend’s wedding ceremony.  before the bride and groom arrived to wedding reception, my friend and i were in a jovial mood. smiling all over like it were the first time i had attended such a function. No sooner had the couple arrived than the crowd sprung  to their  feet t like soldiers ordered by their commander to fire at the enemy to welcome them. Initially, I was in the mood, but within a split of a second, the bright smiles in my face faded like a black t-shirt turning white in colour. something ran into my mind and reminded me about my relationship that was around two months old and already was in balance.

I got back to my seat and leaned on it as I reflected back on the cause of the misunderstanding.  Well, how many people always look back to their past and assess how he/she acted towards the spouse and what the effects were? As I asked myself such a qauestion, something told me, how did you react and how did she react. Then I asked myself, for how long have these  couple dated and did they have misunderstandings any way? I had no answer and decided to dwell on my relationship that could have culminated into such a function in the near future. I don’t mean it may not, if God says it will happen then it will.

Immediately I asked myself such a question, three or four things came to my mind. Firstly, communication. Secondly, respect. Thirdly, emotional control and tolerance.

It reminds me how after several attempts of requesting the person who claimed that she were with me in a relation to pay a visit to me, I lost my guts and was not ready for any sweet talk. At around 10:00pm, my phones makes the usual sound of lucky Dube
and for a while I was nodding my head. only To look at the phone, it was her calling and telling me how she was ready to listen to my quarrels and complaints. i wasn't prepared to listen to the cunning gimmicks that women always have. neither was I intending to talk too much or rudely, but seemingly uninterested in talking.  Feeling unimpressed, she sent me a message and without thinking twice, I sent a hot belittling, hurting annoying message in return. Of course after sending, I felt like I had done what I had  wanted.

Surely, I cannot tell whether she was using this avenue to test how I would react or she had made strategies to pull out of the relationship or she wanted to ascertain whether I really loved her or not? All those I cannot tell, but any person would ask him or herself why someone who resides just a few Kilometres away from you would not want to have time with you, but prefer calling you at calculated hours and when being called, she receives when he/she feels she wants to. Someone always tells you he/she is busy and yet the person passes just a few meters from your place of residence when to and fro his/her journeys and it really gives you to question whether he/she is always busy or just letting you to know that you are of no value?

However,  I will not dwell on that and baring such in mind and how she responded to my harsh messages, I have myself to blame for the response that I had and that is why I would also like to ask anyone reading this article whether we always package  our information properly or not? Communication and respect may not come good unless one is emotionally stable at the moment.

Emotions have killed people; emotions have destroyed relationships over small things that could have been rectified with time. After my actions, I started dancing to the tunes of my inconsiderate behaviour. I can’t deny that I am now on the bargaining side even when the counter messages could have been caused by her, but was it the best way I was supposed to have replied  and did I think of the outcome or the feeling the other party would get?

Emotions make us to lose respect for ourselves and for the people with whom we relate on a daily basis or as strangers and that is exactly what is killing several relationships.  Therefore, I think every individual in a relationship, be it marriage, courting/dating, friendship should get to assess themselves before blaming other people. We all have weaknesses and strengths, but that should not mean that we should use other people’s weaknesses to cover our own.
People will always want to have defense mechanisms in order to make themselves clean, but I do believe for one to stay in a healthy relationship, one should be in position to acknowledge their wrongs and ask for forgiveness. This does not make one lose his/her man hood or femininity.














"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

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