Naturally, any man or woman who is
sexually active or even impotent/ barren will always want someone
of the opposite sex to be there for them, but many have had stories to tell. When we all try to look back to our past and try to
recall the time when you were in love with this gentle man or lady and the
either party didn’t reciprocate your love and probably you assumed that you were
not that worthy. Don’t worry; your prayers will be answered!
 |
| a young woman drugged and raped by a Man she met on face book |
Today,
unlike in the African Traditional Society, relationships have evolved from time to time. In the past, many or few years, anyone would move to the well
and get a woman to love or one would move into a ‘masanja’ dance hut and get a person to walk with home.
Alternatively, parents
and aunties would make deals when the actual person did not know anything. Today,
unlike in the past, things have changed, money seems to be the centre of every relationship, whether
the other party is a detoother or genuine, it’s the same story.
In many
intimate relationships today, it’s a process that either becomes successful or never. With the “global village” that we are living in today, things have become
rather complicated than usual. With the internet in place and the rise of social media; face book, Google, Twitter, Badoo,
Zorpia among others, only God knows what happens there.
Visiting someone today for instance, requires money,
dating someone today requires money, effective communication (phone or skype) today
requires money and yet the credit crunch is pinching in pockets of even the
wealthy. This partly explains why people from humble families will end up frustrated
and lonely since many of them may not be in position to meet the costs of sustaining
a relationship either long distance or short distance. Many women today will
prefer to meet at certain places; I am told they call it “outing”...the modern day language to signify civility. Whereas it
may be a good idea meeting in a place where the either party feels comfortable,
the other question would be, for how long will it be? Many relationships have
ended up in the so called outing since many people will want to court/ date for
certain time.
Probably, God wants us to meet wrong
people in life before we meet the right people finally. Along the way, we meet
people who are just interested in our money, or wanting to use us as a
stepping stone in their careers in the name of being in a relationship.
After getting what they want, they will be no more. Even when they are dating
you, eight out of every ten men or women will always have two or more men or women
chasing after them. In actual sense, they are dating more than one person. This is all brought about
by the fact that every day in our lives especially in institutions of learning,
work place or church, we meet new people and who probably for one reason or the other
will want to found relationships. This makes many people to get confused and in
the long run they are left as lonely as an isolated hill. Those who are interested
in the money will run away when they realize that the other person is either
sharp or does not easily release money. Are you too serious or undecided?
The other reason why dating has always
failed in many people’s relationships is that, who pays for the bills each time
you are going out, who should talk most
or least in that date? Who should always do the phone calling or home visiting, where
should the next date be and why, how open or untrustworthy is the other person?
Should people hug or kiss the first time or second when they are out for a
date? These among others are the considerations that are usually under looked and taken for granted
and by the end of the day, the other person is nowhere to be found?
One or both of the people in the date
will always have one leg the other side and one leg in the relationship. Meaning
that, any time, he/she will run away, but yet again, there are those few of
course who will be very serious, but they are always not taken seriously by the
other party.
In many situations, those who are
searching and perhaps intending to date always confide themselves in individuals
who actually do not want them in their lives. However, loving someone is not a guarantee
that you will be loved back.
Do not force love, because at one point
if the other person realises that you are ideal, he/she will love you back. In
situations where the other party is not interested in discussing issues to do
with intimate relationships, do not force, because America can never be Uganda and
vice versa. If you love someone and
he/she does not reciprocate your love, be thankful to yourself that you showed
love and you were not treated equally.
Take heart and remember that there is
always at least that one person who loves you and you have not realised or have always minimized and deemed unworthy.
Never let go what you have and never cry for what you cannot get.
By; Ekakoro Fredrick Etoori
0777260171/ fekakoro@yahoo.com
Comments